What is Time Management? (Part 3)
This is Part 3 of 4 in a series of posts answering the question, "What is time management?"
In Part 2, we challenged our long-standing belief about the definition of time.
We learned that time is relative to those who observe it.
Depending on what we're doing, time can seem to move faster, slower, or stop altogether.
So if our perception and experience of time is "dynamic," as Stephen Hawking put it, what kind of perception will help us boost productivity and improve time management so we don't feel stressed out all the time?
Different People, Different Perceptions
We experience time in a way that is more or less unique to our individual circumstances, so the relationship I have with time may not be the same relationship that you have.
But the more our circumstances overlap, the more similar our relationship with time.
If we share the same household, or the same job, or the same geographic location, we tend to share the same perception of time.
This shared perception extends into our circle of friends, family, and colleagues, and eventually into the entire community until this perception becomes a cornerstone of the local culture.
And while many cultures in the modern world share a similar perception of time, other cultures have completely different belief systems.
Consider the following:
- In some South American cultures, it’s frowned upon to arrive early or on time to an appointment.
- In the East, it’s not uncommon for trains and buses to run hours behind schedule.
- Some native tribes don’t even recognize time. They have no verb tense to describe past or future; they only speak and act in terms of the present moment.
- In North America, you may be perceived as irresponsible or “not put together” if you are running behind schedule. It’s quite common to arrive 10-15 minutes early.
Let’s call this individual distortion "time orientation."
If you're reading this, it's because you're part of a culture that glorifies maximum productivity.
Someone who has a completely different perspective on time may not have an interest in learning about how to "save it" or "spend it" better.
So there might be a bit of a clash when circumstances overlap.
Say you show up to a meeting 15 minutes early because you want to come off as prepared and on top of things... the person you're meeting shows up 15 minutes late because he doesn't want to be rude.
Can you see how that might be a little awkward?
Different people have different ways of expressing and experiencing the concept of time.
Let's look at another example, one that may be more familiar...
A couple has been dating for six months.
It's been pretty casual so far and they both appreciate how the relationship has grown in this time. But they're not FBO (Facebook Official) so they don't know exactly how long they've been dating, but they each have their own perception...
When you ask the female how long she's been with her partner, she says “there's no way it could be more than a few months.”
When you ask the male, he feels the complete opposite: "It has to have been at least six to eight months."
Her perception is compressed.
His perception is expanded.
Same circumstance, different perceptions.
It’s important to know what your own time orientation is because it determines whether you're managing your time, controlling your time, or withdrawing yourself from the time equation altogether.
If you want to improve your time management, you'll want to orient yourself to time in a way that best serves your objective.
To feel like you own your to-do list and it doesn't own you...
To finally put yourself back in the driver's seat of your life...
To easily create better balance and more freedom...
You need to start controlling time instead of trying to manage it.
Changing Your Perception of Time Management
We all have the same amount of time in the day, right?
So why is it that people like Richard Branson and Elon Musk seem to be able to do it all?
They run multi-million dollar empires and still find time for their friends and family while other people can't seem to finish all the chores around the house.
Richard dedicates at least a couple hours a day to some sort of physical activity, whether that's traditional exercise with a trainer or playing a few rounds of tennis.
Hell, Elon's overseeing half a dozen companies that are disrupting global industries and he still finds the time to make and sell flamethrowers.
High-achievers choose a time orientation that works for them rather than against them. They've shifted their perception of time so that it's something they control instead of manage.
Time Management
To manage means to govern, direct, or oversee.
We all manage things: people, places, items, indulgences...
Managing multiple things at the same time is the definition of juggling.
Some people juggle many things and do it well.
But most people don't... most people "struggle with the juggle," trying to keep up with the constant demands of life.
Why?
Because they're attuned to a time orientation that's outside their locus of control.
One of the biggest lies they've bought into is that managing their time more effectively is the solution to their feelings of stress and overwhelm.
So they go day in and day out trying to treat all the symptoms by using this tip and that technique hoping to improve their time management skills.
But they quickly realize that these productivity "hacks" are all short-term solutions to a much bigger problem that they don't even know they have. They keep trying to put bandaids on their wounds when what they really need is surgery and some stitches.
It sucks to feel like you've tried everything and nothing seems to work. I know because I've been there, and it took a long time to leave that place.
There's one simple truth that, if you can accept it, will change everything you thought you knew about time management...
Time can't be managed at all.
It cannot be governed, directed, or influenced in any way. Each second that ticks on the clock of time does so objectively, regularly, without fail. You can't stop it or save it, or make a second longer or shorter than it actually is.
Therefore, it’s not time you’re managing.
“So then what am I managing?”
Answer: Yourself, and the various elements of the world that you encounter on a daily basis.
You manage yourself in relation to time.
Of course there are ways to influence people, places, and things in a way that supports your effort to achieve desired results...
But you cannot manage time because there's nothing to be managed.
Remember, time is a construct of the mind—it's an illusion.
And as long as you believe that time is what you're managing, you'll continue to "struggle with the juggle."
Time Control
What you can manage is your thoughts, words, and actions.
And these three things can be measured in relation to time, in various scales, from years to months to days to hours, and even down to the second if necessary (i.e. the Olympics).
When you focus on managing these things—thoughts, words, and actions—your entire experience of time transforms and you start shifting from an orientation of time management to that of time control.
Time control is a fundamental shift in your mindset.
Since time only exists in your mind, it's not something that has an objective existence “out there.”
As Eckhart Tolle put it in his book, New Earth:
"...it's a mind-structure needed for sensory perception, indispensable for practical purposes, but the greatest hindrance to knowing yourself. Time is the horizontal dimension of life, the surface layer of reality. Then there is the vertical dimension of depth, accessible to you only through the portal of the present moment."
There's a big difference between time management and time control...
And if you can understand and accept this difference, you'll be lightyears ahead of your peers not just in terms of productivity but also in overall life satisfaction.
To actually improve your time management skills, you must first learn how to control time. And to control time, you must first shift your focus from the external world to the internal world.
External vs. Internal
When your time orientation is that of time management, typical symptoms begin to surface that let you know it's time for a change:
- There’s always too many unchecked boxes on your To-Do list
- Your level of procrastination may be at an all-time high
- Your level of organization may be at an all-time low
- Feelings of stress and overwhelm have become part of your everyday routine
- Burnout is your natural state and other areas of your life, like health or relationships, are suffering
Managing time translates to reaction...
You're reacting to the relentless demands of others in a way that doesn't serve your desired result.
When these demands start to pile high and you don't know how to handle them properly, you start feeling that weight on your shoulders and eventually buckle to the pressure.
Controlling time translates to proaction...
Instead of reacting to the demands of others, you're responding to those demands is a way that is aligned with your desired results.
You're proactively choosing to manage the things that you're actually in control of (thoughts, words, and actions).
Let's look at the difference between managing the external and controlling the internal...
CIRCUMSTANCE |
MANAGING TIME |
CONTROLLING TIME |
|
When calls or texts come in... |
You answer them regardless of where you are or what you're doing |
You answer them only if they fall within a pre-defined set of conditions (i.e. responding to your boss immediately) |
|
When consuming content... |
You scroll through your social media feed and "accidentally" spend an hour watching and listening to whatever the algorithms feed you |
You've got a "to watch" list and a "to listen" list lets you consume exactly what you want when you want, all of which is chosen with careful consideration |
|
When something unexpected happens... |
You get stressed out because your whole schedule for the day is now in shambles |
You calmly and quickly rearrange your schedule based on your top priorities for the day |
Instead of letting the world dictate how you spend your time, time control empowers you to spend your time intentionally, intelligently, exactly how you want to.
You create your schedule and consciously choose what activities and people end up there, making sure they all support your desired results.
You operate within your own locus of control and feel prepared to take on whatever life throws at you because let's face, when life gives you lemons you want to make lemonade, right?
The key is having the mindset and skillset to "juggle" effectively.
Control Your Time, Control Your Life
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."
—Viktor E. Frankl
For every demand that calls for our attention, we have the choice to shape our response in a way that serves us; in a way that maintains a healthy balance and avoids any unnecessary anxiety.
Ultimately, we don't use time to get sh*t done and achieve our goals. Time is just a measurement tool, like a ruler, that allows us to measure how effective we are at producing results.
In terms of productivity, the less time we use to achieve our desired results, the more effective our time management.
The truth is, we use ourselves in relation to time.
How well we use ourselves is determined by the mindset and skillset that we've developed, which is why I highlight these two things as the only solution to actually improving time management in the long run.
We think about the desired results we want to produce, then determine what tasks might help us achieve those goals...
We speak with other people to plan, decide, and collaborate on those tasks...
And then we move our bodies and use our brains to complete those tasks.
Thoughts, words, and actions are the best levers we can use to produce our desired results.
To create better balance and more freedom in your life, stop managing time and instead start controlling time.
Time management keeps you focused on managing the external while time control keeps you focused on controlling the internal. And unless you change your mindset from reactive to proactive, you’ll continue to “struggle with the juggle.”
If you want to control time, you must understand how time works. Then, knowing how it works, you start to use it in a way that works for you instead of against you.
Time control is a choice only you can make, one that is ongoing and everpresent. You must be aware of this choice and exercise it over and over again until it’s deeply ingrained in your brain.
In Part 4, we look at exactly how you can exercise that choice on a daily basis.
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